Hello 2017

Goodness....it is already 2017. I feel as if 2016 just flew by. Now, don't get me wrong, some days felt like they were DRAGGING! However, looking back it does feel that it went by rather quickly.

I have always been one to make New Year's Resolutions. No fail, I start off strong just to waiver and quit by February. It is disheartening. It is frustrating. I do believe I have finally figured out why I have always failed at this. Motivation.

Hear me out. In the past my motivation has been self centered or self focused. I wanted to lose weight to look better and feel better. While that in itself is not a bad thing, it isn't the right motivation to make lasting change. That proved true the first time a yummy Krispy Kreme or pizza was offered and I didn't resist. Some might have resolutions to read more, travel more, not drink soda, stop biting their nails (also one of mine), and the list could be endless. However, more times than not (this isn't a true statistic, just my experience)given a few weeks the drive to reach that resolution fades or disappears entirely.

I cringe that I am about to let you all in on something that makes me feel so ashamed and embarrassed, but I am being real and honest so here goes nothing. I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been in my life (pregnancies included). Yikes! I have allowed food to be an idol in my life. I have turned to food for comfort, celebration, grief, joy, you name it. It saddens my heart to write that but it is the truth. I believe I have finally reached the point where enough is enough. However, my motivation to change is not the same as it has been all the years before.

Today my motivation is God. I know that sounds like a church answer but it is the truth. God has opened my eyes to show me that my gluttony (it really is just that) is a SIN. That's right....a sin. Sin separates us from God. Sin grieves God. He hates it when I sin because He hates sin. I think in the back of my mind I have always known it was a sin, but I think I held the idea that it was one of the sins that wasn't so bad that could be overlooked. Wow. No.

Mark and I started reading Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges this week. Listen to what he says here "We often say, "God hates the sin but loves the sinner." This is blessedly true, but too often we quickly rush over the first half of this statement to get to the second. We cannot escape the fact that God hates our sins. We may trifle with our sins or excuse them, but God hates them.....We need to be gripped by the fact that God hates all these things (Sins). We become so accustomed to our sins we sometimes lapse into a state of peaceful coexistence with them, but God never ceases to hate them." Italics mine for explanation.

Wow y'all. This goes for every sin, not just overeating. That is just what I have been struggling with for a long time. God hates it when I turn to food (or anything other than Him)for comfort, for celebration, for grief, for anger, etc. He desires me to turn to Him. He is all I need and all I will ever need no matter what the situation. He is good and is working for my good. But He is just and Holy and hates sin.

May we all have this perspective in life. May our motivation for change be the correct one - A Holy life. I challenge you to take a look at your own life and honestly ask God to open your eyes to sins that you might be peacefully coexisting with right now. Ask God to stir within your heart a desire to live a Holy life. Be ready, cause He will answer this prayer.

We know we cannot be perfect this side of eternity but that doesn't mean we don't try. And try again. I am sure I will fail at some point in my new health adventure, but I will now look at it as sin, repent, and turn again into His grace and mercy. Praise God. Till next time....