Communication is Key

Hey y'all! This isn't going to be one of my normal blog posts. This topic is more from me and experiences I have been involved in and feel is a big issue in our homes and life in general. This is also a real struggle for myself as well. Communication. Yikes! :)

Why do we find it so hard to verbally address how we feel or what we think? What keeps us from being willing to have sometimes awkward or hard conversations in order to clear the air? One word comes to mind...pride. Whether it is fear or stubbornness, both are a result of pride. Fear (when dealing with communication) is pride because it is only thinking of yourself and how the conversation could potentially be harmful to you and not how the conversation could be encouraging and useful for building one another up. Stubbornness is the other side of fear yet is still pride. It is also only being concerned with yourself and not losing face. Either way running from biblical communication is pride and it is sinful.

This is so hard y'all. I am non-confrontational (with the exception of Mark...sorry love!) and am a people pleaser at heart so it is hard for me to speak up regarding certain things because I am fearful of how others will view me more than I desire restoration in the relationship. This is wrong yet I see it all around me. Friendships die because one or the other won't address the hurt that has occurred. Marriages crumble because we assume we know the intentions behind our spouses words instead of being willing to ask (in love is key here)and also giving them the benefit of the doubt. This is one area, early in our marriage, I really struggled with. I assumed I knew what Mark truly meant behind his words. Most of the time I was not giving him the benefit of the doubt and assumed the worst. This is sinful and not beneficial at all to a marriage (or any relationship). I have since learned to rather assume he means well and to ask and/or tell him when I feel it was meant as hurtful. This takes discipline and I am in no way perfect at it. I have, however, seen a tremendous change in my attitude toward him.

I want to encourage us in our relationships (marriage, family, friends, etc.) to be willing to put our pride aside for the benefit of the other person. Be willing to have difficult/awkward conversations in order to prevent Satan from getting a foothold in that relationship and tearing it down through bitterness and resentment. Let's be willing to go to one another in love and say how we truly feel and probably the hardest part - trust the other person when they tell us that wasn't their intention and LET IT GO! This is hard especially when for so long we look at what other says through a lens that says they are out to hurt us. Give that to the Lord and trust the other person if they tell you that was not their intention. God knows their heart and they will have to stand before Him one day if they are not speaking truth.

Let's choose love and peace. Let's stop assuming we know what others mean behind their words and be willing to ask if we are truly troubled by them. I personally have needed to understand that when Mark asks me "what's for dinner?" he isn't meaning "why isn't dinner on the table, you lazy wife!" but simply "what's for dinner?" It is a silly example, but honestly, there have been times I believed he meant that statement exactly like the second one which caused resentment and bitterness to take hold in my heart. This is not okay. Give others the benefit of the doubt, because as I have mentioned before, it isn't about you. Don't assume there is hidden meaning behind what others say. Let's trust and put aside our pride to be able to lovingly explain our thoughts and feelings when needed. I promise, our relationships will be so much healthier if we are able to grasp this simple concept. I love you all. Till next time.

Check out this video on love and forgiveness in marriage (with my hair in a towel). :)