My prayer for today

Father,

I don't know what to do. I am beyond frustrated and confused. I thought I heard you loud and clear and knew in the depths of my soul that you had this planned for me. Was I so blind? Was it really my own wants and desires that took root in my mind? If so, how can I trust anything I think and feel again? How can I know what I must do? How can I move on from here? I doubt every step I take and word I speak. I desperately want to bring you glory with my life, so how did I get so far off track?

Father, I need your guidance. I need your wisdom and grace to surround my every thought and fear. Help me to take the thoughts captive that are attacking me and saying I am not right for the task you have given me. I beg you Lord to work in my life. Convict me where I need convicting and give me the strength to step out in faith where you lead. Give me the boldness to not run away from my sin but to rather confront myself, repent, and turn toward your marvelous grace. Only you can bring true freedom from the snares that constantly try to grab a hold of me.

Daddy, I feel beaten up and tired of fighting. It seems I have lost way more than I have won. I can see around me so many who are hurting and either unwilling or afraid to speak up to get help. I have been like this myself. Why are we so afraid? Why is admitting I need help and guidance such a taboo thing in the church? Forgive me for running from the issues I face and trying to hide behind a smile. Forgive me. I can't do it anymore. I can't keep living a lie as if I have it all together when I don't. I need you. I need so much of you. Every. Day.

Thank you for your grace and your mercy and how you meet me right where I am. Thank you for forgiving me and showing me how to forgive. Thank you for not giving up on me even though I fall time and time again. Help me to love like you and live like you so when my brother/sister falls, I am there with a hand and a smile, telling them there is grace, even for this. I need this reminder every day. Help me to be ready and willing to remind those you have chosen to put in my path. Thank you Father for so many things. Thank you for all of it, even the pain. Thank you for Jesus. Amen.