When you just don't understand
Man, what's on my heart today is really hard to even type out. This is a day I am really struggling with the pain and suffering that is experienced around the world. Sometimes we just don't understand. Sometimes we can't even fathom how what we are going through could possibly be used for our good and God's glory. However, God has reminded me that just because we cannot imagine or understand right now how our specific situation is for our good, does not make His promises untrue. Stick with me on this.
Romans 8:28 is a passage I go to often when seemingly bad things happen in my life or the lives of those I cherish. It states "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." This is a great promise to stand on. With this passage, we can know that no matter what we are facing, God is working it for good in our lives when we love Him. Just being transparent, I have found it hard to hold onto this promise at times. In my humanistic nature, I can't see the big picture and I can lose site of His promise here. Like today, there have been seasons in my life where I could quote this verse and others but deep down in my soul, I had questions and even anger/resentment at God for what was going on around me. Praise God that He can handle my questions/concerns/doubts!
I don't have the perfect answer for you here. I can't tell you exactly what to think/feel when you or those you love are facing difficult and seemingly impossible situations. This could look like a million different things in your life - sickness, job issues, relationships, school, finances, you name it. What I can offer you is how the Lord has worked on my heart in seasons of loss and grief. One passage really stands out to me. I am not sure exactly how I came across it, but I know that when we were going through some really difficult times, the Lord brought it to my attention. It is found in Habakkuk 3:17-19a and says this -"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines,the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food,the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD;I will take joy in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength;he makes my feet like the deer's;he makes me tread on my high places."
This might not make much sense to you just reading it, but try and break down what Habakkuk is saying here. The examples he gives are dire circumstances - pretty much losing the ability to survive (no produce and flocks = no income/sustenance). However what he says in verse 18 is how I have decided to live my life in the midst of trials and my own dire circumstances -Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength. Wow. Just wow. Having this mindset doesn't magically happen. This is a choice we must make everyday, especially when we are in a dark valley. I have found it is okay to say "I don't understand this. I don't see how it could be for my good." However, we can't stop there. We must continue by saying "But, I trust God. I choose today to trust Him still." I write this today with my dear friend on my heart. You know who you are, and I love you. I love you all. Till next time.
This song has spoken to me so much during trials. Listen and let it become your heart's cry.