First time Forgiveness
Hey y'all! This week has been a bit nuts with Mark being at youth camp in Florida and the kids and I at home, just us. It has been fun and from what I understand the kids and adults are having a great time at Teen Extreme! :) I can't wait for them to get back because that means Ella and I are that much closer to getting to go to Clear Camp next week! She is so excited. Anyway, back to the point of this blog. :) I wanted to take a chance to write to you all regarding forgiveness.
I think forgiveness is something we all struggle with truly grasping and honestly, doing. We say things like "I can forgive, but I can't forget". While, I know it is hard to forget bad things that happen to us (I might be the exception with my poor memory) :) I do think it is possible. Ephesians 4:32 says this "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." This verse is full of grace when we really think about how God has forgiven us. It reminds me of Psalm 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." I love that our sins are cast as far away from us as possible. :) What love the Father has for us. The Ephesians verse also has a charge to us as Christians. Not only are we to be kind to one another and tenderhearted (a whole different blog post), we are to forgive one another. This can be so difficult!
So what does truly forgiving someone look like? How are we time and again supposed to cast someone's sin as far as the east is from the west as the Lord commands(remember the 70x7 parable)? I honestly don't have the perfect answer for that except we are called to do just that. As much as our flesh desires for vengeance and retribution we must learn to forgive. This takes practice and a lot of discipline. When thoughts begin to invade our minds regarding the hurt that has been caused to us, we must take those thoughts captive and replace them with truth. We are all sinners and we all need grace. We will each stand before the Lord one day for all of our words and actions. What peace comes from letting go of hurt caused by others and trusting in the Lord to provide justice (hopefully that justice comes from Jesus's blood rather than eternal separation from God -again something for another blog post).
One thing I have learned through the Lord's leading is that true forgiveness makes the offense (even if it is the 100th time they have done it) as if it were the first. Think about it. When God forgives us He throws our sins as far as the east is from the west. They are as if they never happened. According to God's example, when we forgive someone and they commit the sin again, it should be in our minds as if it is the first time they have done it. He also forgives us even when we have not yet asked for it. We are to also forgive even when the person who has wronged us hasn't asked for our forgiveness.
Whoa...wait what? I am to forgive someone even if they don't ask for it? Why yes, yes you are. This is tough one. We desire to know/prove we are right and because of that we want others to seek our forgiveness when they have hurt us. Don't get me wrong, according to God's word we are to seek forgiveness when we know we have wronged our brother/sister. However, due to our pride that doesn't always happen. The verse in Ephesians 4 calls us to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. That means, regardless if the person ever asks for it or not, we are to forgive them....truly forgive. This means we don't hold it against them and we don't bring it back up. Ouch.
How often do we (even if just in our minds) replay our past hurts. A lot of the time the hurt get exaggerated through the replaying in our minds. We go over the words said or unsaid, the body language, the looks, etc. until we are blue in the face. Now, even if just subconsciously, we begin to see everything that person says and does from that point on, through the lens of that past hurt due to our lack of forgiveness. Now, they are always out to hurt you somehow and we "find" evidence of that in their current words and actions. My friends, this should not be the case! As I wrote about in my last post, we should be giving each other the benefit of the doubt and not assuming they are out to harm us. Let's forgive and make the effort to take those thoughts captive when they begin to try and weasel their way into our minds. Let's love with Christ's love and do our best to cast others sins as far as the east is from the west. Let's remember the sacrificial love and grace that is given to us each and every day and be ready and willing to extend that grace to others. Let's remember life isn't about us, but rather how our lives can bring glory to God, the only one who deserves it. I love you all. Till next time.
Check out this vlog on love and forgiveness in marriage: